![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
Questions 1-21: "I am exercising my right of not wanting to reply, though I just did" *see below*
- I say I expected it. Did I say I don’t mind?
- Because we thought we can catch up with each other about what’s been missing.
- Because we want to spend some time with you. Wanting to know about you beside what you have portrayed in your blog.
- Number of times I didn’t turn up of course cannot compare lah~ but seriously, as if my presence matter to you. HAHA! Whether I’m around or not, you probably won’t care lor! HAHA!
- During that countdown I’m having some crisis back in office which I THOUGHT you are aware and perhaps in all your happiness you forget to include that or only remember people who has victimized you. That’s ok~ but I have witnesses to prove that as much as I want to happily countdown with Cheryl, I’m stuck in office with my beloved computer and system.
- Of course I did not join the countdown lah~ I was in office till morning the next day~ Yup! Accepted! Promise broken!
- Not really an unspoken protocol ba~ *think hard* But at least warn us in advance ba~ By the way hor~~ in case you forget. You told me only Rudy, Clement and Vincent coming. At least you can do hor, is to msg one of us to tell us one more person is joining so that I can prepare enough seatings rather than last minute arrange it. That I'm pissed with you.
- I insisted to bring my ex. Because he's my only friend whom I can talk with when I'm left out. I'm sure this is the reason that you bring rudi. That's fine. But you know very well that this group will never leave you out. But that group in John Ho's housewarming, only Cheryl I can be certain wont leave me out. In case she late or anything, I still have my ex mah. In case you forget again, that time you are still gaga over John Ho.
- As stated above.
- Of course you can bring anyone you like lah~ just that give us ample notice and not when everything like more or less confirm liao then say I wanna bring someone. Like in John Ho's case, I already make it clear from start that I'm bringing someone.
- John Ho used to be our group until many issues happen between him and me, Cheryl and Grace and not forgetting YOU! J
- Errr.. for that one hor… sometimes I’m being invited~~ sometimes I’m not wor~~~ sometimes I stuck in office~~~ sometimes I’m just sad~~~ when I do not turn up for all these, I did tell people of my reason~ perhaps I just never tell you lor~~ sheesh~ you really think you are that close with me meh?
- because you got depression and hyper sensitive. I need to choose my words wisely with you else you might ended up crying like nobody’s business.
- Rudi is very sweet friend. And I am glad you know him and happy. I hope he can help you in all your problems area. It’s you who has “offended” us. Especially so after this post.
- Errr… I'm not a fervent temple goer like you going to church. Just because I tell you that i go temple to pray and you think my religion is that?! You can jump into conclusion like that?! Oh well, now i know you can.
- I'm a free thinker. I go to temple as and when I like or to cleanse my crystals. BUT now i hardly go temple, i have find ways to cleanse them at home. BUT I DO go to church when I feel like having some calmness.
- first of all, I never judge you or critise you. The fact that I'm angry that you never go church because I saw the improvement of you when you start going to church~ more calm and more serene. Then suddenly you keep missing church and you might not have notice, sometimes you are very confused and lost. At least I hope going back to church can bring you back the calmness you have. Yes, I did tell Gary about this and I probably never tell him the reason behind. That's confirmed not a judgement call against you~
- Of course I've made mistakes. My mistake is to even think you can be a friend.
- Like I said, I'm a free thinker. If I have, MAYBE~
- Nah~ Talking behind your back because you are so depressed and so sensitive. Just scared you break down and god knows what you will do if we tell it to your face. I'm sure John Ho know that i'm talking behind his back lor. hahaha. I talk behind ppl's back because they are so "fragile" or they proclaim to be, thus i need to be sensitive mah. Now i know it doesn't pay!
- If you think I am creating unhappiness between friends, aren't you glad that now you are not my friend?
I AM THE PERSON WHO CREATE UNHAPPNIESS B
Hmmm~~~ I wonder~~~~ you taking it out at me hor~~ is it because :-
OH! and there will be a thrashing session soon. I just hope hor~ she don't purposely choose that dates that I need to work lor. Then ended up saying I dare not attend the thrashing. Seriously, after some time thinking about it hor. Thrashing for what purpose? I don't even want her as a friend anymore.
She can say anything about me lah~ from what she mention in her entry hor, i already know what kind of person she is liao. You can trust her~ You can tell her anything~ And she's willing to do anything for you. BUT when you so-called betray or dun trust her. whatever secrets you used to share with her will probably be out in the open. Scary huh?
All comments will be screened. I'm not like someone~
I'm petty, I'm selfish. If i see comments that i dun like, i will not publish! :P
This is my blog!
Last but not least, I dun think i betray her in any sense. My mistake is to actually think of her possible recurrence of depressrion and sadness and go back to drinking and crying. There are things i should have said regardless how she'll be reacting to it. Trust her? Well, I would love to in the past. I tried in the past. But there are just times, you do not want to pour your heart out to that someone. And with this incident, I can understand why I find it hard to trust you.
I super tired now.
GET THE FUCK OFF MY LJ!
THRASHING OR NO THRASHING SESSION will be a lose lose situation for me. But if there's one, i will turn up if it fit my schedule.
But AFTER THE POSSIBLE THRASHING, god knows what she will say, right? Anyway, come what may~~~~~
nights~~~
In the past, I’m living in a phase of “痛到最痛, 就不再痛” for a pretty long period of time~ I think coming to a year soon for the most recent incident and coming to 3-4 years from the many past incidents~
- Mood:
calm
Lately, too many people are making me much too disappointed~
I do what I deem is right~ no one is in the position to tell me what’s right or wrong.
I trusted you too much and landed myself in this stage.
I’ve learnt.
My heart has turned icy cold~
I trust them too much...
I expect little but they think its too much?
Either way, I’ve learnt, and i have learnt well..
THAT IS BECAUSE I HAVE MY BLOODY REASONS MAH! TMD!
The best part is when you end the conversation by saying :-
"actually I don’t care lah, I don’t bother, I don’t believe. So no need to buy you hor?"
=_='''
I also wanna add. I DO NOT REMEMBER WHAT I'VE SAID TO YOU IN THE PAST~ so please do me another favor~ do not come to me and say things like "last time you say this and that hor~ remember?"
Sorry~ i don't remember~ unless you are a especially close friend of mine, i might remember~ i don't have a choice~ sometimes closer friend's details tend to stay in my brain longer than the rest of you~
Please remember the detach bit~ i do not remember each and every readings i've gone through with you~ I've done so many readings for so many people leh! for god's sake!
Also, you seriously need to be grateful for me not able to remember~ You surely do not want me to remember every single details that i've told you~ Imagine if last time you told me something secret and I remember every details to it. surely one day if anything happen, you sure blame me~ I do not want that and I DETEST that~
Remember! Spilling your secrets won't make me any much better than those people i've hated! And I believe in secrets are meant to be kept secret~ stay secret~
*deep sigh*
I think I'm PMS-ing~ i rarely get so agitated with my friends leh~ *sigh*
i'm agitated over other things~ but rarely with my friends~ unless they betrayed me~ unless they spill my secrets~
When I get this agitated~ it also means~ the friendship is coming to an end~
I childish? nah~ i just don't want to keep negative people around me.
Friends are supposed to make one feel good~ feel comfortable~
NOT to be made use of~
- Mood:
cynical
I’m a complicated person. I don’t know about myself~ if you really want to help me or save me~ please learn to read my body language~
I have had a good time catching up with some old friends in the month of July.
I've always most comfortable when I'm with a group whom I know will never judge me.
How do I know if they judge me or not, let's just say I just know~
As many of you know that my interest is in Astrology, Numerology and Tarot Card Readings, I've made many friends through this special interest of mine~
Some have even become very close with me whom I call close friends.
J
There's someone ask me~ Can I change my path? Can I change what's planned for me?
Hmmm~
Seriously, I don't know. Somehow I just feel you can't change the destination planned for you. But you can choose to enjoy the scenery along the way before you reached whatever good or bad destination planned for you.
Change? Possible?
We can choose. We can change.
If you don't like a certain pattern of your lifestyle, change your lifestyle.
If you don't like what you going to hear from me about your future, then don't ask me.
I'm not trying to be rude here. Rather, I do not want someone to keep bearing what I've said all the entire life.
One may say they don't care. They don't bother. BUT the minute you ask me WHY, HOW etc, you bother.
“erjie” I'm not saying you hor~ I mean in general. I don't mind you asking me. In fact, I don't mind people asking me at all. Not many people have understanding of these. And not many people will want to know what other people's life. They are usually more concern of their own. Hell, I'm also more interested in my own lor. Just that I can't see my own readings. *SIGH* But in this area it's really a lot a lot more complicated that one knows. I can't be pouring out whatever I know just like that.
Hang around more with me, be close. Sometimes, I just might pick up a thing or two and tell you. Sometimes, memory and hunches just come to me. I can't explain.
Sometimes, I do not know how to tell you what I see~ if any one of you do not like what you going to hear from me, then don't ask me. I say what I see. I say what I know.
I've mentioned this particular example to two close friends of mine.
For example
(money / traffic jam is not an issue in this scenario.)
One peak hour evening, you need to travel from
1) Taxi
2) MRT
3) Bus
Which will you choose?
Beginning of life =
If you choose
1) Taxi – Only you and the cab driver in the car. Whole journey, pretty lonely~ no?
2) MRT – PACKED! There's no view, there's no scenery (all underground). The cabin will be like a packed sardine. Your main focus will be in maintaining your stability. Looking out that you will not miss the station.
3) Bus – There is still a very good chance that you might get a seat. Also, there's scenery, people watching~ everything. Just that time factor might be longer as it might be using a different route. Ultimately, you will still reach your destination~ right?
Hmmm~ just another of my blabbering session!! HAHAHA!
Anyway, recently I'm IN LOVE with this song!!!!
Just wanna share with you all~
石欣卉 - 我知道我变漂亮了
《一切完美》 主题曲
过去的批评嘲讽 Let it go Let it go
过去的轻蔑冷落 Let it go Let it go
有些人口不饶人 却忘了瞧瞧自己
又有什么资格
时刻都善良待人 Let’s move on Let’s move on
时刻都做好本分 Let’s move on Let’s move on
有些人心思浅薄 绝不是宽容
自暴自弃的理由
也许 确实也受过言语打击
也许 因此而失去了自信心
但千万别将勇气深锁在阴影里
我们又不会妨碍这世界（的）美丽
我知道我变漂亮了
我知道我被注意了
曾难过 失落
微笑一下就过
外在的美貌容易戳破
内在的美好细水长流
我知道我变漂亮了
我知道我也豁达了
不自卑 不埋怨
就算还差一点点
用内涵弥补一切缺陷
内在的美 迷住每个人的眼
I went Night Safari with my mum and cousin’s kids last Saturday~
Tickets were complimentary from
Boy! That place has changed SO MUCH!!!! I’ve had fun!!! But I did not get to see much of my favourite! L OWLS!!!! L
I wanted to go home around 9plus~ but the kids wanted to watch the animal show! So we went to queue.
With no dinner ( I went to meet my mum and the kids direct from work) plus long queue (no seats), I am super grouchy to the max!
And guess what? An APNN family of four appeared in front of me! Keep chatting with the security~ and conveniently just “park” themselves in front of me! I told the APNN teenage gal that she need to go back to her queue. She glared at me and told her father. Her father glared back at me and continued chatting with the security. He asked if his sick wife and son can excuse from the queue and seat at the side. And that they are the FIRST in queue.
When I tried to talk “sense” to that bloody APNN, he just ignored me~ and start to talk to his family in his APNN language. My temper just kept raising.
My mum kept trying to control my temper. So it’s ok~ nevermind~ they are like that ones~ SO?! They are like that so let them be meh?! THE FINAL STRAW WAS WHEN THE TEENAGER DAUGHER TRIED TO SHOVE ME FURTHER INTO THE BACK OF THE QUEUE! THAT’S IT! I stormed out of the queue and start to look for THAT security who “ALLOWED” them to stand RIGHT IN FRONT!
When I managed to find that security, I saw two men were also yelling @ him~ I approached him still! I cannot take the APNN anymore. Then I heard that two men were also complaining about that APNN family!!! Apparently APNN family was behind them!!!! I immediately joined in! HAHAHAHAHA!
When I went back to my start of queue, the security followed. And more people from the front of the crowd start to yell at him for allowing that family to stand in front! To appease the crowd, the security actually refrain that family from going in first.
When we were inside and waiting for the show to start, I scanned the area for that APNN family~ They were at the fourth row from the front~ and guess what? The “sick” wife was posing different pose in front of the camera and laughing and smiling. And the “sick” son was running all over. I just hate APNN in general! Ptui!
OH! While they jumped queue in front of us and sitting at the side “enjoying”, I actually took a snapshot of them! Initially I wanna be discreet and just use no flash! Then I hack it! Flash them so that they know I AM TAKING THEIR PICTURES!!!
Give me some time to pull out the picture! My card reader DIED on me! L
HMMMM~~, regarding the “friendship” post I’ve posted earlier. I’m very glad that so many of you understand what I’m going thru and giving me the said space. Thank you~ Some friends I’ve talked to also told me if a friend keep saying things like stupid, no brain etc crap to you~ even if joking, is showing no respect to you. I’ve made a mistake to flare up at her. That I’m sorry~ I should have slowly distance away from her and cut her off eventually. Ya~ I should have done that. I need to work on controlling my temper~
Errr~~ ya lah! The above entry does not show much of me controlling my temper. But that’s towards APNN! Surely there’s exceptional! They are not even friend lor! J
My temper used to be worst. I lost few friends in the past. When I think back after some time and if I treasure that person and that friendship, I will eventually find back that person. However, I don’t apologise. Whether it’s my mistake or not, I just won’t apologise. Well, pride is one issue. Also it’s over, why rake up the past and start all over again?
If it’s my mistake, I will make it up in time. But if someone insisted I apologise before being friend back with me. Then I guess this friendship is not meant to be. I can almost put up with anything from friends. But I only want my friends to handle one thing from me. My pride. Of course you can tell me off when you think something I’ve done it’s not right. But you only need to say ONCE. Don’t do it so often that I beginning to think “what the hell you still wanna be friend with me for, if in your eyes I’m like what you say I am?” Whatever you have done to care about my pride and sensitivity, you have a friend for life in me. Well, I’m not that great a friend. But I will try to be and you will always be priority in my life. Yes, I’m selfish to ask you to accept me as who I am, I should be a friend that you all want me to be, right? WRONG. HAHA! I’m just being very honest here. Rather than being someone I’m not. I tell you up front what sort of friend / person I am. Take it or leave it. Your choice.
Lastly, I thank those friends whom I’ve walked away from (you know who you are) and accepted me back with no question asked.
Thank you~
- Mood:
morose
- Mood: bitchy
A. Nope~
2) What was your dream growing up?
A. To be a psychic~ *I am serious*
3) What talent do you wish you had?
A. To be able to put feelings into words~ *i sux in that~~ Envy monster~
4) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
A. Anything except beer~
5) Favorite vegetable?
A. None in particular leh~ I love all vegetables~ I just hate spring onion~
6) What was the last book you read?
A. Unforgivable by Tina Wainscott
7) What zodiac sign are you?
A. Dragon
8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
A. Nope
9) Worst Habit?
A. Always like to emo~ *counted?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
A. Definitely.
11) What is your favorite sport?
A. Sleep. If not counted, then bowling~
12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?
A. Negative
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
A. Chat~
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
A. Only those close to my heart will know~
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
A. I will go MIA when I get too close with someone~ Just not feel comfortable in close relationship~
Not that I dun appreciate friends. I do~ but often, I will wander off and cut connection from friends~
But i will come back~ not because got agenda or whatever~ just me~ dunno how to explain~ sometimes, I just want lots of space and alone time~
Sorry friends, if you have a feeling that i neglected you~ that's not true~
i love receiving sms and calls from you all~ knowing someone remember me, warms my heart~ I just dunno how to "return" back the same affection~ I will show my appreciation of your friendship, my own weird way and weird kinda timing~
for friends whom I wanna cut off~ I wont even contact back and I will put it across very clearly that the friendship is over~~~
16) Do you have any pets?
A. Nope (But i have a lot of virtual pets in facebook!)
17) What if i showed up at your house unexpectedly?
A. Provided you know where I stay lor~ I doubt anyone know where i stay~
18) What was your first impression of me?
A. Gary - Friendly and sincere~
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
A. Scary~
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
A. Make me slimmer~ *sigh*
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
A. Would be good to be someone's conscience~
22) What color eyes do you have?
A. Brown~
23) Ever been arrested?
A. Not at all~
24) Bottle or can soda?
A. I do not like carbonated drinks~
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
A. Travel~
27) What's your favorite place to hang at?
A. Anywhere quiet and with some close friends.
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
A. Yes. As well as fairies, angels~
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
A. Just do nothing~
30) Do you swear a lot?
A. When people irritates me~ *Note that I use "people", I dun use "friends"~
31) Biggest pet peeve?
A. Arrogant people~ Who belittles people thinking they are the greatest in the world
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
A. FATTY
33) Do you believe in/appreciate romance?
A. OF COURSE!
35) Do you believe in God?
A. Yes~
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
A. I just did~ =D
- Mood:indescribable
Used to have a blog which i rarely update~ and many friends do not even remember it's existence!
The reason I stopped blogging it's because I feel I always update with unhappy events and feelings~
Then it just depressed me further~ Best to not blog it out~ Out of sight, out of mind~
However, now my thinking has changed.
- Mood: content
